How To Find Your Inner Stillness – The Other Side of Average

Life is about standing in the fire and being bigger than the flames.

I did a workshop last weekend on rewriting and reframing our stories and breathing into presence. As I contemplated both rewriting our stories and what it really means to be present I saw a quote of mine that said, “life is about standing in the fire while at the same time being bigger than the flames.”

I see this as being similar to the idea of being present in the centre of a storm. This inner stillness is always there and we can make it part of our regular experience of life.

Life is just that, life. Some people have this misconception that as we become more aware, awake, present, or centred that life becomes less stressful, chaotic or drama-filled, but this is really not true – life still happens but how we see it and how we respond to it is what changes.

When we are present and able to experience that inner stillness and bring that which is unconscious into our conscious awareness, we no longer see life through the same lens. Our perception is forever shifted. The drama may still be there around us, but we are no longer drawn into it. We stand detached, responsive and present to a deeper understanding of what is.

Yes, true presence transcends all understanding ultimately.

Yet since we are human beings, I find it helpful for myself and my clients to use tools that reframe our stories and transform our human conditioning, as well as tools that bring us into our bodies to transcend our human experience. These tools are a perfect pairing for our conscious evolution.

We are taught to place so much value on the mind and developing our intellectual knowledge and to continuously strive for more. We start this with kids from a very young age as we teach them to use their mind to recite the alphabet, learn their ABC’s or know what a chicken or cow says.

But how often do we teach children to listen to their bodies, to develop and trust their intuition or tap into their inner strength and wisdom?

Because of this imbalance, people are caught up in being busy and avoiding anything uncomfortable. This constant striving ends up at the point where we have forgotten how to truly live, how to listen to the inner voice, embrace life and feel empowered.

We have become human doings instead of human beings.

This pattern of trying to be everywhere else except where we are: caught in the 1001 things we need to do, regretting the past or worrying about the future, avoiding that which is uncomfortable, living in denial, being addicted to drama, or stuck in distractions like drinking, Netflix, or YouTube means we’re missing out on the richness of life; on our purpose for even being here.

When we bring our unconscious, habitual ways of being and thinking into our conscious awareness and become present to the stillness within (your true Self), we experience the miracle, grace and ease that actually exists in each moment.

That is when we can stand in the fire and be bigger than the flames. We can be calm and clear in the centre of the storm. We are able to be fully engaged in life and seize the natural opportunities for growth in each moment. We get to respond to life’s situations instead of living in a constant state of reaction. We get to actually embody the concept that “life is happening for us, not to us” or “we are not given more then we can handle,” instead of one day posting a quote on social media and then the next day being disgruntled with life.

Our mind and intellectual understanding of things on the conceptual level is simply a guideline, a pointer to something that we’re meant to experience and embody, not just to understand.

Culturally, the emphasis on intellectual knowledge, the conditioning to constantly strive and avoid pain is a trap and impedes our ability to be present and experience our inner stillness and strength.

Eckhart Tolle says, “we have ended up mistaking the signpost for what it points to.”

Our intellectual knowledge and our spiritual understanding is flowing, changing and morphing all the time, yet the essence of who we are is present in the centre of all those changes.

When we are attached, identified and hanging onto these ever-changing concepts of our world we find that what once served us now actually impedes us. When we are stuck in this identification we mistake the concepts for the embodiment of the experience. This trap of the mind ends up dragging us along instead of us using the mind for its true purpose.

On the flip side, when we let go, are in the moment and become present to and accept what is, as it is, we might actually find that what we thought once stopped or damaged us could very well be a catalyst for growth and awakening.

Our capacity to navigate life challenges and struggles and come out thriving is equal to our ability to bring our unconscious, fragmented parts into our conscious awareness, become present to our inner stillness and return to our true nature.

This inner silence and presence is the birthplace of happiness, fulfilment, wholeness and grace. Most things in life are in a constant state of change and yet some things are eternally true.

Presence is where you find that inner stillness; the true essence of who you are beyond conditioning, beliefs, labels, stories, as well as the roles that we play.

This you is not changed or bent by your human experience but rather embraces it as your catalyst for awakening to who you really are.

This you is infinite and doesn’t get caught up in the ever-changing melodramas of life – you are able to stand in the fire and be bigger than the flame.

This you seeks to find the gifts insights and transformation in each moment no matter what they look like because you know there are hidden treasures to be found and your shift in awareness is able to see them.

The ability to be present and connected to this inner stillness as you move through life is the source of your power. This silence is always there any time we feel lost or caught up in the demands, the busyness, and stresses of life. When we’ve forgotten our way; or lost awareness of this inner stillness and connection to who we really are, we can always find it by coming back to the present moment, returning to “Self” – bringing our awareness to the inner stillness within.

I invite you to take a second right now and close your eyes – see if you can’t notice this stillness that resides in you in this moment. As you sit with the experience of witnessing this inner stillness see if you can’t be aware of this stillness and the outer world at the same time.

This ability to be present to the stillness while simultaneously moving through life opens the doorway to grace and ease.